LIMBO

Was surprised I blurted it out to him. I know I've been keeping it all in my heart all these times and I just don't want to tell him since it's a very difficult time for him and his family - I don't want to add his burden by letting him know how I feel. But I already said it.

I guess I just have to move on for now. But I know in my heart of hearts I love him dearly and that will never change. I am not looking for his replacement, still need to sort things out. But loving him is not a question here, he's not the problem but me. I can sense there's something missing in me that I have to find out before I settle down. I made an arrangement with him that we'll discuss our relationship in person when he comes back for a visit or holiday.When? We both don't know yet which is also one of my concerns , seems like it's an indefinite planning, waiting and hoping.

I feel light right now, seems like the pressure is off. And I'm happy I have friends who's helping me out find what I'm looking for. Some of them new found friends who are helping me out in understanding myself more.

I love my Baby but this I have to do for me to become a better person and hopefully his better half later on.